"Alimony is certainly not,

            Just the cost of undoing,

            But rather the screwing,

            You get for the screwing you got."
 

           The hands call her "Whaling Boat Rose",

   Because of the life style she chose.

      Disguised as a sailor,

      She boarded a whaler,

     Where ever it goes, "thar she blows".
 

     A lonely sheep herder from Texas,

             Doesn't know what conventional sex is,

    He will grab for release.

     Anything that has fleece,

           Caring not what the sex he selects is.
 

While one's still a 34-B,

                The other hangs down to my knee,

                                Since you say you can't sleep,

                        Without one in your keep,

                        At least sleep in the same bed with me.
 

       Randy Heckswyth, a Florida Gator,

   Bandied sex with a florid debater.

    She favored fellation,

    And he, copulation,

       But not prone to debate 'er he ate 'er.
 

   A lackey named Langer once lusted,

      For a lady he should have mistrusted,

      When she hinted at banging,

    She really meant banging,

               That's how Langer's poor banger got busted.
 

               "Never dreamed", averred thespian, Chris,

   After one night of conjugal bliss,

                "My performance might cause,

        An outburst of applause,

   But I didn't expect you to hiss."
 

    A nearsighted fellow named Nicky.

   Decided to have just one quickie,

    In his haste to embrace,

      He faced the wrong place,

   And got his doohickey all ickey.
 

   The girl of a fellow named Larry,

              Complains of his palms, which are hairy,

    If fact or if fiction,

        This friction affliction,

         Should vanish as soon as they marry.
 

   A winsome young coleen named Meg,

   Was endowed with a nicely turned leg,

    If Nature'd been fair,

                    She would have a matched pair,

   But the other one's shaped like a keg.
 

   A bright engineering assistant,

         Claimed nature to be inconsistent,

                When he probed a Miss Ohm,

     In the lab in his home,

           He found she was quite unresistant.
 

   A trail biker said to his bride,

               "There's something I still can't decide,

             I'm not sure if  I'm fonda,

      Of you or my Honda,

                   Cause the Honda's a much smoother ride."