Was dressed in a navy blue tu tu,

            When she lifted her skirt,

            For a squirt, (or to flirt),

           The view caused a hullabaloo-loo.
 

   A termite was left by its mate,

    For its very odd habits of late,

        It did things profane,

            To some old cellophane,

        And who knows how much acetate.
 

   A macho truck driver named Ricken,

        Claims sex on the road keeps him tickin',

         But in spite of his quips,

    On most of his trips,

       He spends the nights chokin' his chicken.
 

   It's funny the things one remembers,

   Like sororities back at old Himbers,

    Disregarding the rule,

        Clearly set by the school,

           They were always accepting male members.
 

           A robust and virile young Mr.,

   Developed a virulent blr.,

                        Though he'd fooled around,

                        With most women in town,

       His blr., he got from his sr..
 

   A lonely old maid in Nesconset,

              Is afraid she'll get laid in her Quonset,

            She has nothing to fear,

           For of all the lads here,

                  There's not one in Nesconset that wonset.
 

   There once was a sportin' young dude,

   In the mood to cavort in the nude,

    But being too shrewd,

    To appear quite so crude,

   Tied his plenitude up in a snood.
 
 

   Once a prudish Victorian minister,

   From the pulpit denounced sex as sinister,

    But back in the manse,

    He discarded his pants,

   Caught the maid in a corner, and menaced her.
 

   A h-hairless m-man n-named Hammer,

   Had a t-t-t-terrible stammer,

    But his girl didn't care,

    'Cause he'd go like a hare,

   When he'd wh-wh-wham bam thank you ma'am 'er.

     A skinny frauline from Berlin,

   Was really frustratingly thin,

                She was nothing but hide,

            So had just an outside,

         With no place to put anything in.
 
 

   To a vicarage in the vicinity,

                       Went a chick to learn more of the trinity,

                    Though quick was the vicar,

               Her kicker was quicker,

                   So he just barely nicked her virginity.
 

              "Strange pleasures we've always pursued,"

   Said the very inventive young dude,

    "So you'll have to confess,

                Though we're stuck with this mess,

   It was better than coming unglued."